


Visions

by frustrataed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Manga & Anime, manga context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frustrataed/pseuds/frustrataed
Summary: You visit Eren for yet another evening, but this time he foresees your death.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 90
Collections: EREN JAEGER|AOT





	Visions

You notice there’s a tree on your right- boney, parched. Some of its long branches are slightly tilted downward as if to give you a comforting hug, as if to show you that becoming sere is inevitable. You look away from it at the thought; how _pretentious_ , that tree. Its leaves will grow again, sooner or later.

But yours won’t.

“Is this how I go, then?”

“Yes. I am sorry.”

Being sensitive, you expect yourself to cry even just a little, as a sign that Eren’s words have some kind of effect on you. And while it feels like all air has suddenly been sucked out of your lungs, you don’t react at all. Instead, you blink again and again, hoping for your eyes to match the state of your heart, that has been stepped on a million times. No tear wishes to make an appearance, but maybe it’s for the better.

You’ve always thought you had complete control over your life, feeling free to choose and act for yourself. Every time you killed someone, it was your choice to burden your mind with guilt. Every time you ran to save your friends, it was your choice to risk your life for them. It was you, it’s always been you- but if it’s always been you making all these decisions, then how is it that you have always acted as a puppet? _His_ puppet, perhaps.

_It all leads to this,_ he tells you. No matter how much you reject or fight against what’s just been unfolded in front of you, the outcome will always be the same. No matter how hard you try to change it, it’s predetermined and permanent, your end.

“Will I be in pain?”

Eren hasn’t moved his gaze from the ground, making you wonder if his unwillingness to meet yours is due to a painful feeling he’s been trying to suppress. In any case, you can’t really know, since Eren’s changed a lot through the years. You were a witness of that change yourself, watching as his eyes slowly drowned, sinking into the deepest pit of the ocean.

“I...I don’t know that. It’s possible, but I really hope not.”

He knows too much- _he wants to do too much_ \- and he doesn’t need to tell you that the weight of responsibility for the future has damaged his shoulders because you can already tell; he’s so consumed by it, he’s lost himself, and maybe even his true purpose with which he began all this journey. He knows, and that’s his greatest curse.

“Thank you for being honest, Eren.”

He’s angry, though he doesn’t let it show. He’s angry because he’s just revealed your own death to you, yet all you find yourself doing is express your gratitude. You’ve always been like this, accepting every single blow like it’s your own, sharing, absorbing the pain, not only your own but others’ too... And he loved you for that, he loved you more than his own miserable life.

Loved, past tense. If he dares to think of present, he’ll get discouraged, distracted. You won’t matter in a few days and you’re both aware now. Thus, there is no point in getting sentimental anymore; deep wounds take longer to heal, especially when in a place that’s been hurt in the past.

“I told you because this is the last time we’re seeing each other like this.”

“You just don’t want me to die without telling you what you want to hear.”

“Only then will I be able to move forward.”

“What if I lie to you?”

“You won’t.”

The sun has almost set and he’ll soon be called inside, along with the war survivors walking around the small yard. You try to take a deep breath, before leaning back on your seat next to him.

“There is no right or wrong, Eren, only perspective. Ours is obviously different, but since I can’t control you or what’s bound to happen, I can only hope that you end this story the way it should. I won’t have another chance, so I’m telling you now; I’m sure you’re hurting because of all the things you’ll have to do, but at the end of the day, I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

For the first and last time in this life, you get to see from his eyes, in a way. Nobody knows what Eren thinks, nor will they any time soon. But after today, you do. There are things he’s kept from you, but you don’t mind. Eren has a vision, and he’ll fight until the very end, well aware of the cost.

You get up from the bench, feeling like it’s absorbed all your energy. Eren’s long hair is covering his face, not giving you a clear view of his expression, but you know that he’s not ready to see you walk away.

You don’t hug each other goodbye, nor do you weep. It’s just the way it is, the way it’s always been.

Before leaving, you turn to look at him. This time he’s staring back at you. He’s listening, loud and clear.

“You’ve enslaved yourself to reach freedom, Eren. I hope you realize.”


End file.
